• Anel van Dyk

Dads, take that photo!

My single biggest regret is not taking proper newborn photos of my kids. I'm not referring to having professional photos taken, I mean having any photo taken with me in it. I took some baby photos of them but very few actually have their mother in it.

I used to hate being in front of a camera. I would literally have a panic attack, which I could hide really well until I could retreat to a safe place and fall to pieces out of sight. It was my daughters' total obsession with taking photos that got me out of my funk.

I hardly have any photos of my own family growing up. I remember going through my grans' photo albums, gently gliding my fingers over the gold corners stuck in their place on each page, desperately trying to keep each black and white photo in their place. Lifting the loose photos to see if there is any info written on the back explaining the identity of the occupant. Finding this info was little golden nuggets to me. I hardly ever knew these people but it gave me a glimpse into a life I will never know.

I have a yearning to know who my parents and grandparents were pre-kids. They could tell me, but a photo will show me.

I'm a total history geek, but this is my history and I know very little of it.

So here I am, two kids in and I messed up their first BIG time in their lives: Them actually being born and introduced to the world. Because of my stupid, irrational fear of being in front of a camera I missed all those moments I wished someone, # Hubby, would have captured.

I missed them finally falling asleep on my chest and being sooo uncomfortable but too scared to move for the fear of waking them. I missed pulling faces at them, coaxing them to give me that gummy smile, and impatiently wishing to hear their first laugh. Of course, once you've heard it you will take your crazy-face game to a whole new level just to hear it again. Hearing my kids laugh simply fills me with unexplained happiness.

I missed sitting up in bed early one morning, bed hair all over the show, so tired I can barely remember my own name, toddler sleeping with her head on my lap and the rest of her taking over my bed, baby sleeping in my arms and hubby fast asleep next to us, blissfully unaware of the scene unfolding next to him. (Ok, that one he wouldn't have been able to photograph but I would love to have that photo and frame it).

I missed bath times and having my knuckles used as a teether.

Dad, take that photo.

Being as stubborn as I am, I naturally didn't tell my husband to take these photo's but I secretly wished he would.

Get the bed hair. The face yearning for uninterrupted sleep. The maternity pajamas that have long outgrown their purpose yet can't seem to find it's way to the donation pile because it is just so darn comfy. Get the sleepy times and the crying times. Get the feeding and changing times. Get the silly times and the times when there is so much love in the room you don't know where to put it all.

Dad, take that photo.

There is nothing that saps your energy like being in a constant state of sleep deprivation. Mom is not going to feel pretty and most probably doesn't want you to take that photo. But secretly she does.

Take that photo.